Self Care: A Prison Break
Wentworth Miller has received some increased visibility across social media in recent weeks following his reaction to a less than savoury fat-shaming meme, which features a photo of Miller during a hiatus from acting in 2010. His reaction has received huge amounts of praise that I feel is duly earned. In his response in an open letter on Facebook, Miller discusses his depression and his suicidal thoughts with an air of frankness and confidence that is refreshing. I have previously written about the Time to Talk Day event rallying against Mental Health Stigma. That specific day may have passed, but the need to challenge the stigma has not.
Since this Facebook post Miller has continued with a series of posts across April featuring #SelfCare to chronicle the importance of Self Care for Mental Health and wellbeing. Linking back to his original post, which I feel highlights that in time of depression we still attempt a form of self care. Miller says he "was looking everywhere for relief/comfort/distraction. And [he] turned to food. It could have been anything. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. But eating became the one thing [he] could look forward to. Count on to get [him] through. There were stretches when the highlight of [his] week was a favorite meal and a new episode of TOP CHEF. Sometimes that was enough. Had to be."
At times of depression, when the challenges of the world feel greater than our ability to overcome them, as a way to survive we cut back and it is easy to hold on to one thing as a self care tool. These can be highly effective in the short term, we feel fantastic whilst we are using them. But afterwards things might not have changed, there might be negative effects from our self care tool. For example, as with Miller, consistently turning to food for comfort means weight gain, and this weight gain can be another thing that we can judge ourselves for. This just compounds our initial concerns, leaves us feeling lower, and more likely to need that comfort. The cycle repeats. Finding a way to break that cycle becomes a new challenge. I am, of course, going to point out that a good way to do this can be through therapy. But, just as with Miller's Self Care Chronicle, there are a wealth of small ways you can bring together to start building yourself up again
Just being able to stand up and make the leap of beginning therapy is, in itself, an act of self care. It is embarking on what can be a difficult journey of self exploration and discovery, but it is also an almost unique experience in that self exploration to find your own understanding, aims and closures. But, as Miller is so wonderfully championing in his his current posts, Self Care can be as simple small daily acts that aim to improve your experience. They make you feel worthwhile, happier, and more in touch with yourself. Especially in a culture where we are often taught to prioritise the feelings and needs of others, we can begin to do so at the expense of ourselves. But, just like the tea cup in the picture above, if you never take anything into the cup, you're going to find yourself unable to give anything to others. You need to value and care for yourself if you want to be in a position to be able to do so for others.
Have a bath. Read a good book. Have a nice cup of tea. Do all three. Do something else. But remember that by showing yourself acts of care and valuing, you are breaking the negative self talk that fosters depression and tears you down.
